Keep hope alive

Stay Alive I Supplements

Lesson 4: “I Will Not Do Anything to Hurt People I Love”

I. PICTURE 

Mind Picture

Teachers: Read the following questions to your students, pausing occasionally to give time to envision details.

“Picture a person you feel close to. Picture a person in your life that you love. How do you show your love to them? What do you do for them? Think about the times you cared for this person. Now, envision a time when this person is being difficult to love. What do you do when this happens? How do you feel when you are showing love to this person even when it is difficult?”

Now take some time to have the students write their ideas in their notebook or draw pictures. Some may even want to share their ideas.

II. PRINCIPLE 

1) Have the students think over the past week and think of one time they may have done something to hurt someone they love. Have them write how they will handle the situation differently next time.

2) Have the students make a list in their notebook of ways they can appropriately deal with angry feelings. The list may include: breathing deeply and slowly until your anger subsides, finding solitude and time away, getting exercise (like running hard or playing sports), writing your feelings down, counting to ten slowly, talking with a trusted adult about your feelings, and deciding to forgive the person who wronged you. 

3) Tell a story about how it is better to persuade with gentleness and example instead of forcing. For example: One day the Sun and the Wind were having an argument about which one of them was the strongest. They saw a man walking down the road and the Wind said, “Let us see who can remove his coat first!” The wind immediately began to blow violently all around the man and tried to peel the coat from his back, but the man clutched the coat to him, wrapping his arms around himself and leaning against the wind. After a time, the sun then said, “Let me try.” She spread her golden rays of warmth toward the man and soon he stopped clutching his coat around him. After a few more minutes he opened his coat, and after a few more he finally took it off entirely. The Sun said, “You see, Wind, the greatest strength comes through gentleness, persuasion, and patience.”

4) The proverb " A snake always has a snake" applies here. Anger and hostility breed reciprocal anger and hostility. Discuss this with the students and explain that they can now practice loving reactions to enhance their relationships with those they love. 

III. PRACTICE

Jar of Anger

You need a clear container of water (this could be a soda bottle or jar), and some mud or dirt. Show the students the jar and explain that the water represents someone you love. Have the students give examples of ways we can hurt people both emotionally and physically. For each example put some dirt into the water. Talk about how the water is getting dirty. If you stop throwing dirt in, the dirt will settle to the bottom, but it will still be there and can be “stirred up”. If we love people, we will try not to throw “dirt” on them and muddy the waters of their lives.

Burden of Violence

Ask for a volunteer. Have the student come to the front of the class and ask them to hold a large rock (or other heavy object). Ask them if it is very heavy. Ask them if they could hold that rock for a long time. Then add another rock. Ask the same questions. Add another and another and another until the student says the pile is very heavy and that they would have a hard time carrying around the stack. Have the student sit down and tell them that each rock could represent a small (or large) hurtful act toward someone we love. It is easy to keep adding one small act, then another, then another all the while thinking that it is not a very big thing, but soon the burden of violence is very heavy and hard to carry around. It is better to not have the pile of “rocks” at all. Stay away from hurtful behavior and avoid hurtful people.

Habits

Have a student volunteer. Have them stand with their two index fingers pointing up and about three inches apart. Wrap a length of grass or thread once around both fingers. Ask the student to try and break the grass or thread by quickly pulling apart their fingers. It should be easy to do. Then have them put their fingers up again and this time wrap the grass or thread around their fingers many times (about 10). Ask them to try to break the binding. They shouldn't be able to. Talk about bad habits (i.e. hurting people you love). The more you do them, the harder it is to break them. Try to change bad behavior now, not later. The same is true of loving behaviors, if you establish a habit of showing appropriate love now, it will continue with you in the future.

Guest Speaker

Have a guest speaker (preferably a man) come talk about how being peaceful and controlling his anger has made him happy. He might speak about how he overcame the temptation to act out violently when he was angry. He can be asked to speak about how showing love and patience has made him happier, how he controls his anger, how he avoids violent people, etc.

Dramatizations

•  Divide the class into three groups. Have students look at the pictures at the beginning of the lesson and have each group pick a picture and act out what they think is happening. Have them demonstrate the picture using appropriate displays of anger or affection.

•  Have the students think of someone they love and have them write a scenario about a way they can show their love and then role-play it.

•  Write down different situations where students might feel anger or love. Have a student come to the front of the room and choose a situation, read it, and then act out that situation using appropriate expressions of anger or love.

IV. PLEDGE

Have the students write a pledge in their Stay Alive Notebook:

I, __________________________, pledge that I will NOT DO
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
____________________________ which could hurt someone I
love either physically or emotionally. Instead I will ___________
_____________________________________________________.

V. PARENT/GUARDIAN PARTICIPATION


Lesson 5: "I Will Sacrifice for People I Love"

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